Ah, New York City. No other city can compare. It’s a work hard, play hard concrete jungle, which more or less entails one thing: On a first date, you’re likely going to grab drinks.
This is a problem for me, because I’m officially done grabbing beverages on a first date.
A couple of weeks back, I went on a first date with a bartender. His change and my workday had just objective, and we really simply needed to blow off some steam. Alcohol was the answer. We decided to go around the corner for appetizers and cocktails — y’know, like a 50/50 -type deal. But I could reek from a block away that I was strolling into a 20 -percent-appetizers, 80 -percent-cocktails-type deal. I promptly grew hesitant.
We ordered a wine and cheese plate first. And then he flashed me with a grin that called, I’m low-key trying toget you drunk .
So, you told me you’re a wine girl.”
I nodded my head.
How about a nice ros? Are you feeling glass or a bottle?
Glass, Sheena , I thought to myself. Say you want a f* cking glass . See, I was trying to stick to my firm resolution of starting and ending this date with merely two glass of wine in me. No more , no less.
Because I know the drunker I get, the more I want to drink and the more my perception get skewed.I get lessconcerned with how good of a date my guy is and more concerned with whether or not I’m gonna~ get some ~. How the hell was I supposed to give this guy a fair shot at love with wine goggles on?
Bottle, I told. The words spilled out of me. I could tell he wanted one, and I didn’t wishes to be a buzzkill.Being a party pooper wouldn’t have induced for a good first impression. And I’m all about good first impressions.
As we sat there talking about what we like to do when we aren’t run, I realise just how much I didn’t have in common with him. Within 30 minutes of our date, I’d made up my mind about him. Sometimes, you simply don’t click with someone, and it isn’t the end of the damn world.
But perhaps I was being rash. Perhaps I needed to wait a little longer before deciding to get rid of him eternally. Perhaps he was the kind of guy that snuck up on you with his intellect or swag or some special ability unbeknownst to me. Guys like that are rare — so rare, they’re practically concealed riches — but perhaps bartender son was one of them.
So when he tried to continue the date after the first round of drinks, I hung around.
I understand why peopledrink on first dates. There’s nothing like a gin and tonic to lighten a mood that so desperately needs to be lightened. I want to be clear, though, that the mood merely needs to be lightened , not changed entirely.
One drink lightens the mood. Two beverages alter the mood. Three beverages? Fuh- get about it. At that point, I’m either reaching the floor or I’ve decided to expend my precious weeknight evening falling in lovewith a guy I could’ve sworn didn’t pass his 8th grade English class.
Bartender boy brought me to a bar with live music later that night. It was the third stop on our three-dates-in-one journey.
“I wanted to say this to you earlier, but you seem so cute, ” he said to me as we sat down( well, we half-fell down ).
“Thanks, ” I told, twirling my hair and caressing his leg. He then took it upon himself to order us a round of dark, coffee-flavored shots.
It was at that moment that I drunkenly realise my believes on bartender son had donea complete 180. Hours ago, I was set on my initial believes of him: Stupid. Boring. Cute if you squint your eyes, turn your head a certain way and imagine he’s wearing a hat . Now, magically, he was clever. Intriguing. Handsome in a low-key way, but handsome , nonetheless.
And thenI had a revelation that would eternally change the way I approached the dating scene: If you get drunk enough, you can get along with anyone.Your worst adversaries become your best friends, the ugly guy becomes the most wonderful thing since sliced bread and the person or persons you once wrote off become people worth dedicating second chances.
Alcohol, you dangerous , dirty, little devil.
Every other Saturday, I attend karaoke night at a seedy AF bar with my girlfriends. I get hammered. We’re usually so drunk that we forget the lyrics tosongs we know like the back of our hands. But it’s altogether cool, because at the end of the day, we still love each other, which we’re capable of doing because we know each other.My girlfriends and I are so comfy with each other that wecan get stoned or drunk off our asses and there’ll always has become a home base to return to. We’ve cultivated a relationship as our foundation, and get drunk one night won’t change that.
First dates are a different story. Why would you want to get to know a random stranger’sdrunk self before knowing his sober self? That don’t make sense to me.
What are we actually doing when we gettoo drunk on a first date? Are we genuinely just trying to lighten the mood, or is it more than that? Are we trying to escape reality altogether?
When the next guy that comes my way asks me out, I’ll hurl him a proposition: “How about you take me mini-golfing? ” I’ll tell classily. “Or maybe a restaurant that bannings booze? ” He’ll laugh, but I’ll stick to my guns.He and I need toget to know each other on the real , not on the fake. Because nothing fake is worth having.