Late-night hosts to Trump: ‘More people marching against you than cancer’

Comics, including Stephen Colbert and Trevor Noah, discussed the presidents first 100 days and his awkward interviews over the weekend

Late-night hosts took apart Donald Trumps embarrassing weekend, objective his first 100 days with a lack of achievements to showcase.

On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert joked about the presidents contradictory impressions on the landmark day after he claimed it was an unimportant measuring. To prove how unimportant it is, he took out a Tv ad, he cut a cake on Us air force One and he held a rally in Pennsylvania, he said.

Trump has also claimed that being chairman is harder than he imagined. It turns out that being leader of the free world is harder than licensing your name to luxury meat, Colbert said. In his old life, he could expend his time golfing, insulting people on Twitter and hanging out with his family.

In the same interview, he also referred to Kim Jong-un as a smart cookie to which Colbert answered: Trump thinks Kim Jong-un is a smart cookie, to which all of North Korea responded: Cookie?

Instead, Colbert referred to Kim as a fat little monster before moving on to Trumps tax return. Hes claimed that it is much bigger than that of other wealthy person he knows. We get it, you have a huge tax return, he told. But you know what would be nice? A full release.

Trump has also claimed that a very powerful person came to the Oval Office lately and wept in awe at the room. Mr President, if I came to the Oval Office and saw you sitting behind the desk, Id cry too, he said.

In an embarrassing CBS interview, Trump claimed he doesnt stand by anything. Its true, he doesnt stay where you are anything except the dressing room doorway at the Miss USA pageant, Colbert said.

He then conveyed disgust at the way Trump treated his CBS colleague John Dickerson during the interview but claimed that since Dickerson is a serious journalist, hes unable to respond with insults, something Colbert decided to do instead.

Youre not the Potus, youre the Bloatus, youre the glutton with the button, youre a regular Gorge Washington, youre the presi-dunce, but youre turning into a real prick-tator, sir, you attract more skinheads than free Rogaine, you have more people marching against you than cancer, you talk like a sign language gorilla who got hit in the head, in fact the only thing your mouth is good at being is Vladimir Putins cock holster, your presidential library is going to be a kids menu on a transcript of Jugs magazine, the only thing smaller than your hands is your tax returns, he said.

On The Daily Show, Trevor Noah also brought up the end of Trumps first 100 days. He no longer has that new chairperson reek, he said. If I had to guess Id say he now smells like nepotism and steak sauce.

He demonstrated footage from Trumps rally over the weekend where he still claimed that the wall between the US and Mexico was going to happen.

Trump is running out of options, he told. Hes either going to have to launch a Kickstarter or go on Shark Tank which would be really humiliating because then hed have to ask for fund from real billionaires.

During the rally, Trump also made a point of celebrating a black advocate in the crowd. He points out black people like hes on a whale-watching tour, Noah said.

On Late Night with Seth Meyers, the host also took apart Trumps claim that he expected the presidency to be easier than it is.

You supposed the presidency would be simpler than being a gameshow host? he said. Theres a reason Abraham Lincoln is on the five instead of Alex Trebek.

He also played footage of Trump cutting the CBS interview short yet then having to stay put until after the crew left. Dramatic exits are definitely less dramatic when you stay in the same room and merely mind sitting down, he said.

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